2/21/2006: Whew, glad that's over
The weirdest figure skating soap opera since Tonya & Nancy thankfully came to an end Monday night, but it was touch and go there for awhile. After their fall in the original dance competition and the icy staredown that freaked out anyone who saw it, Italian ice dancers Barbara Fusar Poli & Maurizio Margaglio took to the ice for their free dance. Skate-watchers everywhere wanted to know what the chemistry would be like between them but nobody expected what we saw in backstage glimpses before they went on: they hadn't spoken and weren't even acknowledging the other was there! Even those in the know said they'd never seen anything like it.
They hit the ice and did their spins, fancy footwork and awkward-looking lifts like ice dancers do, in elaborate veils and gaudy velvet. Not only did they not fall, but they did extremely well and didn't seem to have any tension between them at all. It was like they were having angry makeup sex on international tv. But it wasn't over.
When the music stopped it was back to bizarre, as she seemed to debate whether to get up or not. Would it be another staredown on center ice? He reached out to help her.. she rejected him.
Finally she got to her feet and reached out to him - a truce perhaps? But he wasn't having it. Eventually, tentatively, they finally embraced, and by the time they got to the kiss 'n cry area to await their scores they couldn't keep their hands off each other.
They didn't medal. Later, backstage, he was bawling like a baby - but that was when they were still in first place. I hope these two go back to retirement.. their dramatics are too exhausting to watch.
The rest of the ice dancers did well - nobody bounced - but for the most part it was a stupid display of ridiculously overblown costumes and ultra-angsty expressions to portray tragic storylines. And in a new trend, several of the guys wore gauzy skirts over their pants.
Most of the skating itself wasn't even pleasing to watch. Most of them seemed to be doing difficult stuff to please the judges but failed to do much to appeal to the audience, and most of them just looked dopey. Clumsy-looking lifts, pretzel spins, and crotch displays were the order of the day. The crotchiest couple, Russia's Tatiana Navka & Roman Kostomarov (top left in the following group) won the gold. They did several variations of this display.. err.. pose.
Among the most questionable looks were this stripper ensemble, complete with swinging fringe pasties, and this.. well, I don't know what's going on here, but it was apparently intentional.
And then there was this oops.
Ice dance costumes have definitely gone over the top lately, but I think some of them aren't properly road testing their outfits for the variety of body positions they go into.
This Russian skater seems to be having a bit of a slippage problem.. a "costume malfunction" if you will. Janet Jackson didn't show this much nipple, and look what that turned into.
Largely thanks to falls by most of the front-runners the night before, Americans Tanith Belbin & Benjamin Agosto broke a 30-year ice skating medal drought and landed the silver. Not only did they have the least ridiculous costumes (they fit with their flamenco routine anyway) but they were the only couple whose routine looked like a dance, and they were the only ones who seemed to be enjoying themselves. She wants to consider ditching the striped hair though.
Belbin was Canadian until a few months ago - she became a US citizen largely to be able to skate in these Olympics for Team USA. It's a good thing they medalled or we would probably have to hear all kinds of debate about the sanctity of the citizenship process for the next few months.
I'm just glad the ice dancing is over.. the Italian couple's soap opera was fun, but the rest of it just left a bad taste in my mouth this year.
